My Blog

have you ever felt that the "certainty" that you’re holding with your hands has suddenly slipped away? *sigh* seems that i’m beginning to feel that way. paranoia visited me again when i was at bob’s place. yes, i’m going to admit my fault- asking stupid questions about his past (which i know that those things will surely hit me in the end) i’ve always believed that he loves me. he said that he’s certain about that. but at times i can’t feel the warmth of his love. i envy his past "loves" (i don’t know how should i call them) they had the luxury of his time back then. oops, i have to consider his "past life" and his "present life". he was still a college student and now…he’s already a tax payer. maybe if we have been a couple during his college days…then i wouldn’t have to complain about the time he uses up for his studies and the "quality time" that he

allots for me. i don’t want to make our age gap an issue in our relationship…but it gives me the impression that IT MATTERS A LOT. i don’t act like a teenager…i act like a child and sometimes my childish ways irritates him big time.

i’m jealous.

nagseselos ako kay raece.- the way he loved that girl before. the thought of it breaks my whole self. it makes me think that "si raece siya, si maan lang ako" and the blog entry at his site www.blisteredfate.com fired up this feeling. i don’t know if he’s really reffering to that girl… the entry had a negative effect on me…and to worsen things…i landed on their "blog site" http://silentbreacher.tripod.com/serpentpoo/index.html they were extremely sweet. and my beb (bob) was sweet too. i know it’s all in the past…

i can’t help but feel this way.

i think you(beb) should do something about this

i will do something to resolve this weird feeling don’t worry.

i’m sorry if i’m bringing this up…

my feelings can’t lie…

do you think i should be ostracized?

Maan’s Year End Special

Before 2006 says goodbye and before i leave my poochie’s friend domain (erika)
i want to say my thank you’s, i’m sorry’s and i love you’s to the special people in my life.

mama and papa
~ i couldn’t thank you enough sa inyong dalawa. everyday lagi kayong may ginagawa para sa akin.
sa araw araw sobrang nagpapasensya kayo sakin.
pag morning na super nagmamadali na ako papuntang school, masarap parin yung breakfast ko
and nakahanda na yung baon ko. nakakatouch lahat ng mga ginagawa niyo sakin.
rest assured na sobrang babawi ako sa inyo.=) salamat talaga. love you both!!!

poochie
~woi…teehee ikaw ulit!!! ahaha, 5 taon gap natin. mas matanda ka sakin ng 5 taon pero sa maturity parang ako yung mas matanda. haha, joke!!! joke lang ah. hehe. salamat sa pagchachaga mo sakin sa loob ng napakatagal na panahon.
ahaha, siguro naman araw araw ko sayo pinapakita that i really love you, right right. =)
pasensya na kung palagi nalang akong may topak, lalo na nung christmas day. sorry sa pagseselos ko ah.
ahehehe. i love you so much

my kada seventeen
~ i miss you kada. i’m sorry… super sorry.

mazie and sazie
~wow, hehe. my super sisters!!! i love you both!!! trio talaga tayo. kayo yung laging nagtatanggol sakin.
woohoo.. alam niyo naman ang lahat ng gusto ko sabihin db=]

pao
~woi.. anak, salamat ng napakarami as super sa araw araw mong pagsundo at paghatid sakin.

1APH
~hehe, magpakabait pa kayo ah

My Dulaang Bedista Family
~salamat din sa pag welcome skin.=)

~to be continued~=)

Boy you fill me with so much joy,
you give whatever it is I need
my love here to stay won’t ever leave,
so glad that you fell in love with me.

My love is so good that I wouldn’t be without you
babe,
couldn’t see me without you babe.
My love is so good that I wouldn’t be without you
babe couldn’t see me without you baby.

all my life I’ve been searching for you,
everyday. So glad that I found you boy,
all my life I’ve been feeling for you everyday.
I’m so happy baby.

Boy you got me feeling so good,
you take all my pain away from me..
without you around I couldn’t be
and I
know you fell in love with me.

I’m so happy that I fell in love,
I thank God he sent you from up above.
I’m so happy that I found someone,
and I thank God he sent you from above.

That I wouldn’t be without you babe
couldn’t see me without you babe and I wouldn’t be
without you babe couldn’t see me without you baby.

trust me its paradise…this is where the hungry come to feed..for mind is a generation that circles the globe in search of something you havent tried before..so never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite…and never outstake the welcome.just keep your mind open and suck in the experience..and if it hurts…you know what? its probably worth it..you hope..and you dream..but you never believe that somethings gonna happen for you..not like it does in the movies…and when it actually does…you expected to feel different…more visceral…more real..i was waiting for it to hit me…"

"I still believe in paradise, but now at least i know it’s not some place you can look for, cause it’s not where you go, it’s how you feel for a moment in your life, and if you find that moment it lasts forever .."